the holidays are ok at first..i enjoyed it....but then...things turned...it turned into a nightmare for me....the things that i came to know are just so depressing....i feel no different than a failure...because i am one...if i was more alert then all this would not have happened....but i am not...trouble found me afterwards....i so dearly wish i could reset time but i could never do that...i cant shake off this feeling...it`s damn depressing but the truth before my eyes are just too clear to ignore...

i did not even have a good night`s sleep last night...after my nightmare i wrote wrote and wrote...until daybreak...now i have panda eyes...my nightmare did not end there...no it did not...someone from 3 years ago suddenly found me...a ghost from the past that reminds me of my misery and all the sadness and failures that i have gone through...conclusion...i feel more and more like a failure...

Jes...leave me alone...haven`t you tortured me enough 3 years ago?? haven`t you? Stop this...u remind me too much of my mistakes and misery...go away...don`t ever come back....i still haven`t forgotten what u did 3 years ago...i hate u for that...u are worse than the devil himself......why find me now when you didn`t even appear after that...to torture me somemore?? Don`t mess with me...go away

Labels: angered, depressed